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THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH:
1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was always in trouble with the law.
3. His mother didn't know who his father was.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He worked in the building trades.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK:
1. He called everybody brother.
2. He had no permanent address.
3. Nobody would hire him.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He invented a new religion.

AND FINALLY, THE PROOF THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH:
1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure He was God.

John Bobbit's Prayer



Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray my penis I will keep
And if I wake and it is gone
I hope I'll find it on the lawn

I hope the dog that's running free
Don't see that little part of me
And many cautions I must take
To keep that part I love to shake

Much attention must I pay
To see the knives are put away
The mower, chainsaw, and hatchet, too
There's just no telling what she'll do

So I cross my fingers, close my eyes,
And cross my legs to avoid surprise!!!

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