Infront of the battery, attached to a frame piece, is a switch/trigger covered by a rubber boot. It looks like the hood pushes it down when closed. Two wires come out the back and travel into the abyss.

There's no "Hood Open" light or anything, and nothing seems to be disabled on the car. What does this thing do? Could it be tapped to for a hood light?

 

I think it is part of the security system.

 

Open your hood, hold it down with your hand, press LOCK on your key fob, and then let go.

You'll see what happens, especially if you have Hella.