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Worst dipstick ever 02-03 (VQ)

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Old 05-29-2012 | 06:24 PM
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Worst dipstick ever 02-03 (VQ)

I can never seem to tell if the oil is low or high, it always comes out fully coated in oil. Like literally no reading at all. It's stupid and annoying.

Does anyone else have this problem? I'm not sure if it's just my dipstick or a problem with these motors in general. Sorry if it's a noob question.....

I shouldn't have to wait for a ticking from the top end to know whether or not I should add oil. Lamee..
Old 05-29-2012 | 06:39 PM
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Um I usually check it when the engine is cold or like 20 mins after I run it. That avoids the coated dipstick. Oh and I wipe it and then check.
Old 05-29-2012 | 06:43 PM
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Car off and sitting level atleast 15 minutes pull dipstick out wipe reinsert and repeat
Old 05-29-2012 | 06:49 PM
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^^^+!
make sure you're on level ground and wait a bit...
Old 05-29-2012 | 06:49 PM
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I believe Rochester said that you can find the directions on any box of condoms for the proper procedure.
Old 05-29-2012 | 06:53 PM
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The all knowing Rochester
Old 05-29-2012 | 07:12 PM
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C'mon guys, I'm not stupid. I don't have downs. Sorry if I came off that way with my post, I actually have plenty experience with vehicles (check my post in intro thread). I know how to check my oil, haha.

This even happens when the car is cold. No matter what I do, the whole dipstick is coated in oil. It's really frustrating. The dipstick is fine, not bent at all and locks right in..... It would be nice to know if I'm burning any since these VQ's are notorious for burning oil at higher mileages.
Old 05-29-2012 | 07:44 PM
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did you recently buy the car? If it's fully coated and you don't hear any weird noises when starting your car or see the oil light on, then just keep driving. It is possible your car doesn't burn oil and the last person filled it up a bit too much.

You should be able to tell once you do an oil change anyway, so if it doesn't look low then keep checking up on it once a week until you get that oil change.
Old 05-29-2012 | 07:46 PM
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The car is fairly new (to me).

Funny thing is, I just changed the oil. I knew the dipstick sucked, so I put in 4 quarts (holds 4.25 I think). But yeah, still comes up coated. Lamesauce.
Old 05-29-2012 | 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted by AZ89two4tsx
This even happens when the car is cold. No matter what I do, the whole dipstick is coated in oil. It's really frustrating. The dipstick is fine, not bent at all and locks right in. It would be nice to know if I'm burning any since these VQ's are notorious for burning oil at higher mileages.
Bingo. No matter what I do or when I try, I cannot get an accurate reading either. Extremely annoying.
Old 05-29-2012 | 07:52 PM
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I don't have any problems reading my dipstick.
Old 05-29-2012 | 08:00 PM
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Owners Manual, they waste the paper to print it for a reason
Old 05-29-2012 | 08:35 PM
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i have the same problem. for me the best time to check oil is before i drive the car at all if i think oil is getting low
Old 05-30-2012 | 04:45 AM
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Originally Posted by T_Behr904
I believe Rochester said that you can find the directions on any box of condoms for the proper procedure.
That thread will go down as one of the funniest.

OP Car needs to be level. Check in the morning or after car has been sitting like everybody says for a while. Pull out wipe insert- wait a second-pull out again.
Old 05-30-2012 | 05:07 AM
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What a dipstick.
Old 05-30-2012 | 05:08 AM
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Sry, couldn't resist
Old 05-30-2012 | 06:10 AM
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The OP is right that it's hard to read on the Maxima, because the dipstick doesn't go in straight, causing the oil to run down the stick. It was a beautiful thing when I realized how perfectly normal the dipstick design is on the G.

Cold engine. Level Ground. Wipe the stick very dry, insert all the way until seated firmly at the base, remove and read right away. You'll figure it out.

OMG, you guys
Old 05-30-2012 | 07:11 AM
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It's well-documented that the dipstick on the VQ is horrendous about accurate readings. You just have to keep trying, and eventually, you'll get a decent reading.

But if you think the dipstick on a transverse-mounted VQ is bad, you've obviously never messed with a dipstick from the RWD-variant. Talk about a PITA.
Old 05-30-2012 | 07:24 AM
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Originally Posted by T_Behr904
I believe Rochester said that you can find the directions on any box of condoms for the proper procedure.
His needs 1-2 hrs time for the Viagra to take effect tho...

Old 05-30-2012 | 08:10 AM
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Originally Posted by 95VQ30
His needs 1-2 hrs time for the Viagra to take effect tho...
I can't personally confirm a 2 hour delay, so we'll have to defer to your expertise here.
Old 05-30-2012 | 05:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Mr. Brett
It's well-documented that the dipstick on the VQ is horrendous about accurate readings. You just have to keep trying, and eventually, you'll get a decent reading.

But if you think the dipstick on a transverse-mounted VQ is bad, you've obviously never messed with a dipstick from the RWD-variant. Talk about a PITA.
Try checking the oil level in an older air cooled 911. Now that's fun to do if you don't know the proper procedure.
Old 05-30-2012 | 08:53 PM
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I hate it too, you must wait at least 3 hours to get an accurate reading
Old 05-30-2012 | 09:19 PM
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I like to check it when it just barely warm. Drive somewhere and do your thing and then come out and check it. Still might take 5 or 6 times to get a good reading and even then who knows if it really is? Mine always reads low even though I know its not. Same with the tranny dipstick. They are both turrible
Old 05-30-2012 | 09:35 PM
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5 or 6 times to read a dipstick? On my 3.5 i wait till the car is completely cold and while its on level ground i pull the dipstick, clean it well, and put it back in and when i take it out it gives me the actual reading every time. IT IS CRUCIAL to have the car on level ground, i don't even put it on a semi hill when trying to check it the ground has to be completely level.
Old 05-30-2012 | 09:37 PM
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I just drain all of the oil out into a 6 quart measuring bowl.

If the volume of oil appears to be four and one quarter of the bowl's total volume, the oil level is fine and I can pour it back in. If the bowl is only half full, I am a quart low and I can add it in when I add the three quarts I just removed.

Of course, using this method you have to be mindful about the oil's viscosity, how much clings to the inside of the oil pan, the oil temp at time of draining, wind speed, chill factor, recent activity along the San Andres Fault (since I'm in SoCal), and what time High Tide is expected that evening....

But it's still easier than using Nissan's VQ dipstick.
Old 05-30-2012 | 09:37 PM
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yes being on level ground is paramount lol. My 4th and my dads 5th are both almost impossible to be certain of a reading because its different every time
Old 05-30-2012 | 09:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Sam o nela
I just drain all of the oil out into a 6 quart measuring bowl.

If the volume of oil appears to be four and one quarter of the bowl's total volume, the oil level is fine and I can pour it back in. If the bowl is only half full, I am a quart low and I can add it in when I add the three quarts I just removed.

Of course, using this method you have to be mindful about the oil's viscosity, how much clings to the inside of the oil pan, the oil temp at time of draining, wind speed, chill factor, recent activity along the San Andres Fault (since I'm in SoCal), and what time High Tide is expected that evening....

But it's still easier than using Nissan's VQ dipstick.
Old 05-30-2012 | 11:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Sam o nela
I just drain all of the oil out into a 6 quart measuring bowl.

If the volume of oil appears to be four and one quarter of the bowl's total volume, the oil level is fine and I can pour it back in. If the bowl is only half full, I am a quart low and I can add it in when I add the three quarts I just removed.

Of course, using this method you have to be mindful about the oil's viscosity, how much clings to the inside of the oil pan, the oil temp at time of draining, wind speed, chill factor, recent activity along the San Andres Fault (since I'm in SoCal), and what time High Tide is expected that evening....

But it's still easier than using Nissan's VQ dipstick.
Old 05-31-2012 | 12:42 AM
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I gave up trying to get an accurate reading on the dipstick. Once I get that slight engine rattle noise from the top, I'll add a quart of oil. I think I'm around two weeks after an oil change. It dont help I park uphill either.
Old 05-31-2012 | 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted by RR5
I gave up trying to get an accurate reading on the dipstick. Once I get that slight engine rattle noise from the top, I'll add a quart of oil. I think I'm around two weeks after an oil change. It dont help I park uphill either.
+1
Old 06-10-2012 | 06:22 PM
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I noticed the same issue with the VQ dipstick. Here's what I have been doing for an accurate read:

1. Warm up the engine.
2. Shut it down and let it sit for a minute.
3. Remove the dipstick and wipe clean.
4. Re-insert the dipstick all the way to the seated position.
5. Remove the dipstick and read the BACK of the dipstick and see where it corresponds on the labeled side.
Old 06-10-2012 | 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted by T_Behr904
Try checking the oil level in an older air cooled 911. Now that's fun to do if you don't know the proper procedure.
ya... that system is stupid!

my friends got a '73 911 with an '85 3.2 F-6 and you have to run the car till its pretty warm and them you can get a reading. i thought in '85 they would make a safer system to see if you're low on oil. what if you're low and you in the middle of warming up and something happens as the oil does the cooling and lubing

crazy fun car though... ~250hp in a 2500 lb car
Old 06-10-2012 | 09:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Sam o nela
I just drain all of the oil out into a 6 quart measuring bowl.

If the volume of oil appears to be four and one quarter of the bowl's total volume, the oil level is fine and I can pour it back in. If the bowl is only half full, I am a quart low and I can add it in when I add the three quarts I just removed.

Of course, using this method you have to be mindful about the oil's viscosity, how much clings to the inside of the oil pan, the oil temp at time of draining, wind speed, chill factor, recent activity along the San Andres Fault (since I'm in SoCal), and what time High Tide is expected that evening....

But it's still easier than using Nissan's VQ dipstick.
Old 06-10-2012 | 09:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Gugs
I noticed the same issue with the VQ dipstick. Here's what I have been doing for an accurate read:

1. Warm up the engine.
2. Shut it down and let it sit for a minute.
3. Remove the dipstick and wipe clean.
4. Re-insert the dipstick all the way to the seated position.
5. Remove the dipstick and read the BACK of the dipstick and see where it corresponds on the labeled side.
At least half the time I end up having to read it from the other side of the dipstick as well.

Just to take a slight detour. Oil was found low Saturday so went to a nearby Autozone to pick a couple of quarts up. Guy tries to tell me 10w-40 is wrong for my car and even after correcting him and mentioning the inherent oil burn issue of the VQ 3.5, he tried to sell me on engine restore. Ugh, these guys!
So don't go into an auto store complaining of your dipstick, may come out with a universal dipstick or box of condoms! Who knows!!
Old 06-11-2012 | 03:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Chris Gregg
At least half the time I end up having to read it from the other side of the dipstick as well.

Just to take a slight detour. Oil was found low Saturday so went to a nearby Autozone to pick a couple of quarts up. Guy tries to tell me 10w-40 is wrong for my car and even after correcting him and mentioning the inherent oil burn issue of the VQ 3.5, he tried to sell me on engine restore. Ugh, these guys!
So don't go into an auto store complaining of your dipstick, may come out with a universal dipstick or box of condoms! Who knows!!
I usually say the oil is for an engine and be on my way =)
Old 06-11-2012 | 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by RR5
I usually say the oil is for a man's anus and be on my way =)
...
Old 06-11-2012 | 03:40 PM
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Please explain this. Unless you want to publically come out as a gay man, fine by me. Leave my posts alone.

Old 06-11-2012 | 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by RR5
Please explain this. Unless you want to publically come out as a gay man, fine by me. Leave my posts alone.


Zero sense of humor.

Old 06-11-2012 | 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by ChrisMan287


Zero sense of humor.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-in...rious-business

Humor online is most often denoted using LOL or

Old 06-11-2012 | 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by AznRyan
What a dipstick.


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