Maximamike

What? No brake line story?

Lordrandall

iTrader: (4)

Stillnmax

Hitting the button to delete this thread but its not working

DaddyMac

now what

ßaller

iTrader: (6)

It was that long ago? Mang, have the time changed, or back in the day, "As The World Turn." I missed all the heated OG's freestyle battle, each one flows and spit out their own taste, it was nasty.



- ßaller

delio

iTrader: (11)

No HID KID in your archive Sprinty...

ThurzNite

iTrader: (13)

Hi Andi. You were the one who got me started w/racing. Thanx for all the wonderful tips waaaaay back in the day. Unfortunately, all I've done so far is AutoX. btw, did you finish your degree? What's next?

Before Max.org, there was my site: http://users3.cgiforme.com/Maxima/cfmboard1.html

And sometime before my site, we had some weekly soap called As The Maxima World Turns or some crap like that. Unfortunately, I didn't make the casting cut and was not in any episodes. They were funny to read tho.

Man, to think...I've never owned a maxima till I bought one 2 months ago...But I've been a maxima enthusiast since 1998. It's about damn time I got my own Maxima!!!!

Jae

AntGVR4

No Way .. you are the **** man Sprint
I can remember how I'd wait in anticipation for Booker to come out with the next edition of that.

What ever happened to him anyway and how come no one has mentioned him?

Ant

Sprint

iTrader: (10)

i got them from Maximamike..

Sprint ---> <--- Maximamike

CKNY

iTrader: (1)

holy ****... hahaha.

nice to see all the names again! =)

:waiting for peelboy's return:

Maximamike

**** yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou! Hahahaha..

Aaron

iTrader: (4)

I remember some of woodear's posts......entertaining reading

Lordrandall

iTrader: (4)

Its 10:30 pm. Prime time Friday night and Delio, along with Peelboy, Lordrandall and Y2KevSE are walking down the boulevard. The trio has just finished dinner & dessert at TGI Fridays, and is walking off the serious caloric overload.

Y2KevSE: “You know, I love the food in that place, but I HATE that menu!”
Peelboy: “Whadaya mean? They’ve got everything on that menu.”
Y2KevSE: “I know, that’s what I mean – that stinking menu is like, forty pages long! Reading that thing is like reading War and Peace! How the hell can you make a decision in that place??”
Lordrandall: “I feel ya, bro. It is a little bit out of control.”
Y2KevSE: “A LITTLE BIT?!”
Delio: “What are you idiots talking about? If the menu only had two or three things on it, you’d be ****ing and moaning about that. Why don’t you….

They continue to walk and the stimulating, intellectual debate rages on. The boulevard is in full cruise effect tonight. There’s imports, muscle cars, exoticars, you name it. Eye candy for the true auto enthusiast.

The boys are waiting to cross at an intersection. They have a red light. Peelboy checks for on coming cars and starts to cross anyway.

Lordrandall: “What are you doing?”
Peelboy: “Crossing the street, what does it look like?”
Lordrandall: “My mom told me that I have to wait for the man and, and that’s what I’m doing. See (points to the cross walk indicator) we’ve got the hand right now, that means we don’t go. We have to wait for the walking man – you don’t go on the hand or when the hand is flashing.”
Y2KevSE: “Good grief.”

So they wait.

As they are waiting for the light to change a few cars pull up and stop along side of them. One of these cars is a dropped, flared and blared Honda Civic. You know the car. This thing is three inches off the ground, has a 5 inch tail pipe that makes more noise than a moose in heat, blue tint headlights, BadBoyz Racing decal, the whole nine yards. The three Maxima owner are looking it over in bewildered amusement.

Y2KevSE: “Hey, look at that! What is it, a Modena, no, wait…an NSX? No,…I’m wrong….that’s one of those Aston Martins – right?”

“Baaaaahaaha”

Peelboy: (knowing they’re fake) “Yup, is must be an Aston. You pretty much have to spend that much money to get a stock H.I.D. set up like that.”
Delio (in all seriousness): “Those are HID’s?”
Peelboy (assuming that he’s just joking): “Yup. Good ‘ole blue tinted headlight lenses – that’s an HID system for ya.”

Haaaaaa.

Peelboy, Lordrandall and Y2KevSE enjoy a laugh at the quip. Delio, however, just gets a quizzical look on his face.

Delio: “Hmmm.”


*** *** ***

The following morning, Delio is up and out of bed early. He hops in his Max and heads straight down to the Ace Hardware store. Delio is a man on a mission. He knows just what he wants. He strides directly to the paint department and starts perusing the spray paint selection. He spots it! Reaches out and grabs two cans of the paint and heads to the check out counter. Five minutes later, Delio is on his way back home with two cans of Kelly Moore Aqua Blue Mist in the back seat and a grin a mile wide on his face.

Delio (thinking to himself): “HID city – here I come! I can’t believe it, four bucks! This is going to be the cheapest mod I’ve ever done!”

Upon arriving home, he swings around and backs the Max into the garage. He parks it so that the front end of the car is sticking out of the garage a few feet. This way he’ll have more light to work with, the fumes from the paint won’t get trapped in the garage, and the sun will help dry the paint more quickly.

Delio: “WooHooo! I’m getting HID today!!”

Delio takes the sports section from yesterday’s newspaper out of the recycle bin and begins masking. He carefully masks off the bumper, lower hood, the grill and the corner markers on each side. After a half hour of meticulous work, he’s ready to get HID. Looking at the front of the car, only the headlamp lenses are exposed. There’s next to no wind, so over-spray shouldn’t be an issue. Here he goes.

Delio picks up a can of the Kelly Moore spray paint and methodically applies it in slow, sweeping, left-right strokes. First to the passenger side, then the driver’s. It takes about 15 minutes, and then he’s finished. A perfect job – no runs, no drips, no errors.

Delio can barely contain his excitement. He’s got HID headlights now! He can’t WAIT until tonight to go out and show them off. But the can says that this stuff will take up to three hours to dry, so he’s not going anywhere for a while. Delio tosses the spent cans in the trash, grabs a lawn chair & places it in the driveway, right in front of his car. Yup, his fun this afternoon is going to be, literally, watching paint dry.


*** *** ***

Five o’clock. Only another three and a half hours until it gets dark outside. Delio is busting. He can’t wait. He’s pulled away the masking and checked the paint. Its dry. He flipped on the lights once to see how they look, but its just too bright out to tell. He’ll have to wait. But he can’t. With its new, blue HID job, the front end of the Maxima is just looking tooooo sweet. He decides to go for a spin.

Delio hops behind the wheel and head for Doug’s house. With any luck, Doug will be home watching the game. Delio is dying to show off his new set up & maybe do some pre-dawn cruising.

He’s driving down Roland, doing 35 in a 40 zone, when a cop pulls him over. WTF?? Delio has no clue what he could’ve done. Wasn’t speeding, signaled his last lane change. What does this cop want?

The police officer approaches Delio’s open window.

Delio: “Yes, sir?”
Cop: “Son, are you aware that you headlights are painted blue?”
Delio (beaming): “Oh, you noticed that, huh?”
Cop: “Yes.
Delio: “That’s my new HID headlight system.”
Cop: “Does that strike you as safe?”
Delio: “Safe? Why, yes sir – more than safe. In some studies, HID’s have been shown to generate as much as 40% more visible light than conventional headlights.”
Cop (now confused): “Huh?”
Delio: “Haven’t you ever noticed those blue looking lights on the front of expensive cars like Mercedes and Lexus’?”
Cop: “Ahhh,…yeh, I have.”
Delio: “Well, that’s the same thing that I have.”
Cop: “But this ain’t no Mercedes.”
Delio: “I know, that’s the beauty of it, the technology is so simple that you can do it to any car – for not much money either!”

The two banter back and forth for a while before the cop lets Delio go. Delio has convinced him that this is the newest thing in headlight technology and is not a hazard at all, in fact, quite the opposite. A few moments later, Delio arrives at Doug’s house. He finds him on the sofa, watching the Mets and the Phillies.

Delio: “Dude, you’ve got to come out here and see what I’ve done to the Max.”
Doug: “You got a new mod?!?!”
Delio: “Yup! And its SAH-WEET too!”

Doug vaults off the couch and follows Delio down the stairs to the driveway. A minute later the two are standing in front of Delio’s Maxima. Doug’s jaw is gaping open in disbelief.

Delio: “What do you think, man?!”
Doug: “What the…? Why’d you do THAT?!”
Delio: “Its HID, man. I’ve got HID now!”
Doug: “It looks like,…like spray paint! Like you spray painted ‘em blue!!”
Delio: “Right! That’s basically HID.”
Doug (in complete disbelief): “WHAT!?!?!!! Where on earth did you get that from??! The blue from HID is caused by the arc created in the bulb, it causes the light to burn blue at the edges, creating a….
Delio: “That’s all a bunch of bull#%*$. I was hanging out with Y2KevSE, Lordrandall and Peel last night and I heard Peelboy say it himself. Its nothing but a thinly applied coat of blue paint.”
Doug: “NO,…but…but….if you’d stop and think for a minute,….
Delio (cutting him off mid sentence, is hearing nothing of it): “Come on, man – it’ll be getting dark soon, lets go for a ride. I can’t wait to see the look on some of those Civic and Integra driver faces when they see I’ve got HID. As soon as they see that, I bet they won’t want to race at all!”

Doug sees that he’s arguing a losing cause and jumps in the Maxima. The two take off for the strip.

Lordrandall

iTrader: (4)

*** *** ***

Well, they’re on the strip, and its starting to get dark. Delio is so full of anticipation he’s nearly wetting his pants. They pull up to a red light. Its time.

Delio: “You ready, brah? I’m going to do it. I’m gonna flip on the lights now.”
Doug: “Go for it, dude.”
Delio (places his hand on the stalk and begins a count down): “Ok, here I go. Five,…four,…three,…two,….ONE!”

At one he hits the switch. Nothing changes. There’s no visible light coming from the front of the car.

Delio (craning his neck, straining to see over the front of the hood): “Damn! Its too bright out still, plus all of these lights on the street are drowning my HID’s out! Drat!”
Doug: “Its NOT the street lights, man – I’m trying to tell ya…”

Before Doug can finish, a full on “race ready” Integra pulls up along side them at the light. Delio is busting. The two occupants of the Integra eyeball Delio, but do not notice his blue lights, irritating Delio all the more. He can’t take it any more.

Delio (out his window to the passenger in the Integra): “How ya like my HID’s, punks?”

The two look at the front of the Maxima, with its spray painted headlights, and absolutely fall out! They are completely overcome with laughter. The passenger is pointing and laughing so hard that he’s crying. Tears are streaming down his face as he grips his abdomen in pain. The driver is rolling so hard that he can’t keep the clutch depressed. He drops the clutch without giving it any gas (the light is still red) and the Honda stalls right on the spot. They both are dying. Delio is not amused.

Delio: “Those punks are just jealous.”

At green he speeds away, leaving the wailing pair at the stop light.

*** *** ***

Its now 11:00pm, and the scene above has been repeated about twenty times. Delio can’t figure it out. What the heck is everyone finding so funny? Its not like he’s got the only car in town with HID. Anyway. He still hasn’t been able to see the full effect of his headlights because the boulevard was so well lit. But now he’s on the way to Doug’s house in the burbs to drop him off, and the bright city lights are fast becoming a figure in the rearview. They’re cruising along a dimly lit two lane highway, heading into the sticks.

Delio: “Finally! We get to see what these babies can do!”

He hits the high beams. Nothing. The painted headlights just glow. They light the road about one foot in front of the Maxima, but after that its pitch blackness.

Delio: “I can’t see a thing! This sucks! I don’t see what the big stink over HID is, if you ask me, these things are actually WORSE than stock!”
Doug: “I’ve been trying to tell you….”

Before Doug can finish, a raccoon has wandered into the road about 100 feet in front of the Maxima. The animal can’t see the car coming, and of course, Delio can’t see the raccoon. It’s a big one, nearly the size of a golden retriever. Suddenly **THUD**!! Delio feels the steering wheel jerk in his hands as the wheels run over the hapless beast.

Delio: “Good God! What was THAT??”
Doug (feeling the effects of the sudden adrenaline rush): “I don’t know, sounded like you hit something.”

Delio is doing about 25MPH on the deserted 55MPH highway, squinting to see into the thick darkness in front of the car. They are discussing what could’ve just happened, not knowing that another 100 feet up there’s a deer standing right in the middle of their lane.

Delio: “I can’t BELIEVE how bad these HID’s suck!”

50 feet

Doug: “These AREN’T HID’s!”

25 feet

Delio: “But Peelboy….

!!!!!! WHAM !!!!!!!!!!

Neither of them saw the deer until about a fifth of a second before impact (which is all the more illumination the headlights provide). Delio has taken the deer completely out. He mashes the brakes and the Max hauls to a stop. They jump out and run over to the deer. Though its pitch black out, its plain to see that the animal is dead. They return to the Max to inspect the damage. Its too dark to really tell, but there’s a massive dent in the left front corner panel.

Delio: “Awwwww, man!! This blows! My insurance is going to go through the roof!”

*** *** ***

An hour later, traveling at all of 5MPH, and sporting two new dents and two new “roadkill” stories, Delio has decided to go to his dad’s house. Delio’s dad’s house is not far from Doug’s place, and rather than risk further damage, Delio has decided to spend the night over there and nurse the Max home in the morning. He’ll drop off the Max and scoot Doug home in his dad’s Ford Ranger.

Back on familiar streets, Delio is driving a bit faster now – though the world out the windshield is still one dark, dank, unknown. Delio swings the big Nissan into his dad’s driveway and heads up toward the garage. Suddenly:


!!!!!!! CRUUUNCH !!!!!!!!!!!


Delio has smacked right into his dad’s (closed) garage door!! He’s punched a hole right through it with the front end of his Maxima! The two leap out of the car and inspect, Delio is fuming. The front end of his Maxima is actually THROUGH the garage door. His car is sticking out of the garage from the front wheel wells back.

Delio: “DAMN HIM! I told him not to paint this damned door brown! I couldn’t even see it! Its BROWN for crying out loud!”

Doug: “Dude, it’s a garage door! You HIT a GARAGE DOOR! The color doesn’t make any difference – it’s a GARAGE DOOR. Its those stupid HID lights! What kind of an idiot makes a do-it-yourself HID system?!”

Delio: “Its that chowder head Peelboy’s fault! He’s the one who said that’s how it works! That bubblehead can’t do anything right! He can’t keep a BBS up, he can’t figure out headlights…. I hope that Booker makes good on his promise to that guy soon!.

The two rant on for a few moments, then manage to free the Maxima from the twisted metal of the garage door. All the racket did not wake Delio’s dad up, so Delio creeps into the house, grabs the keys to the truck and runs Doug home.


*** *** ***

Its now 6:30 the following morning, and Delio’s dad is fit to be tied. The man is seeing RED! He had gone out to pick up the paper a few moments ago, grabbed it and turned around to see a giant, gaping whole in his garage door. Then he spied Delio’s Maxima with a crunched front end and painted blue headlights – it didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out what happened here.

Delio’s dad STORMS into the family room where Delio is passed out on the couch.

Dad (bellows at him): “WHY YOU IDIOT!!!”

The volume of his father’s voice startles Delio awake.

Delio: “Wha….what?”
Dad: “You put your car THROUGH my garage door!!??”
Delio: “Well, not exactly,….I…..I…..ahhh…”
Dad: “And why in the hell are your lights painted BLUE!???? That’s why you hit the door, isn’t it??!!!! You couldn’t see where you where going, and ran right into my door!! I ought to….”
Delio: “No, its….its not what it seems!”
Dad: “My eye!! You’re going to be doing an awful lot of clipping, trimming, cutting and sweeping around here to pay for that door!”

With that Delio’s dad spins around and exists the room, slamming the door behind him – hard.

! WHAM !


Final tally of costs for Delio’s new HID light system:

Two cans of Kelly Moore paint…….four dollars.
Half tank of gas wasted cruising…….seventeen dollars.
A dead raccoon, dead deer, being laughed at by every ricer in town, hole in a garage door, four months of lawn mowing…….priceless.

Sprint

iTrader: (10)

Randy i won't ask where you got that

Jason R

iTrader: (39)

LMFAO that is just too funny!

CKNY

iTrader: (1)

randy - i remember that the first time around... for some reason it's MUCH funnier now =)

Matt93SE

iTrader: (44)

Dammn... I need to read the main forum a little more often.. you freaks will never go away, will you?

We need some more Manly Games.. BOOKER!!!

Sprint

iTrader: (10)

Randy.. do you have the one with Delio, TimW and myself go on a trip and every time he looks up he see's woodear? and beats everyone up in the hotel?

Y2KevSE

iTrader: (13)

That one was funny!

Wasim521

iTrader: (4)

Wow...I think I was missing out. I should have bought a Maxima a long time ago...

Sprint

iTrader: (10)

if you are like LordRandall and BrianW you would be here with no maxima

RussMaxManiac

I just noticed this post!! LOL!

WoodEar

Muhahhhahhaaa is that Shawn Tran?? ur ALIVE!! Out of all the old timers I am #2 on your mind? Not bad not bad.
It has been a long time hasn't it? Back when we both were pimpin the DOT ORG, NTAP and BRCD were $500 stocks, now one it's $13 and $5, and if they ever go back to $500, I will buy you a new NSX lol.
As you guessed it, I am just chilling and doing my usual thing.

WoodEar

my pics are always HOTTER! and it doesn't even need to be half naked to be hot
damn the 50kb limit, lazy link here.
http://members.roadfly.com/cyt/gal1.jpg
http://members.roadfly.com/cyt/gal2.jpg
http://members.roadfly.com/cyt/gal3.jpg
http://members.roadfly.com/cyt/gal4.jpg

WoodEar

Hello there!! are you like the youngest PhD in TX now or something?? hehe.

Sprint

iTrader: (10)

WoodEar

7 pts --- ****'s convicted me
6 pts --- i beat those ****'s in court
10 more --- pending.

WoodEar

that's cuz your SLOW like usual! muhahahaha.

RussMaxManiac

lol!

Synki

Andi

DUDE! Hi! What's up bro? I'm almost done w/ my PhD yeah.

DUDE that girl is HOT!!! She yours or just a model you found?

Andi

Stillnmax

he wish's that was his girl.. buwhahahha, those pics are Crazy old. there are more on off topic i think... the one where she is holding the BMW Sign is the best.

Jason R

iTrader: (39)

dude, I wanna move to BMW ST.

WoodEar

lol i think it has been online for yrs and almost every bmw forum ppl saved it on their HD by now, hehe

yongjun

i hit that ***** a year ago.

Any hoot..

Hi Woody, Andi, and everyone else.

Did maximamike ever get his liscence?

WoodEar

he did, on Gran Turismo for PS1, muhahahahaha

Lordrandall

iTrader: (4)

Oop, sorry, I was off for a few days. Yeah I have it, do you want me to post it here, or email it to you?

WoodEar

Jim who?? no one mentioned u cuz you were never famous
i don't even remember me and u going at it, how can bystanders remember, muhahahahah

Sprint

iTrader: (10)

post it