Want a laugh? How about a 5 Second 350Z?
02-17-2003, 11:37 AM
#1
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Location: Lakeland, FL
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Want a laugh? How about a 5 Second 350Z?
This is a little long... so crack that beer and sit back.
Went to Denny's last night with the wife and some friends. The freaks were out for sure, must have been a full moon or something.
Anyway, we go there a lot, so all the servers know us pretty well. Well, one of the servers working there decided he wanted to come over for some friendly banter.
This guy was so full of crap, I can't believe he didn't catch fire. First he said that he worked four jobs while complaining about his long shift. Then he says, this is just a filler job and that he had 4 brand new cars and a nice new house. Well, so far, it is just strange, but not necessarily impossible (btw... this guy is about 19).
Now it starts getting interesting... now he says, that he works for Liberty Nissan and his Dad owns the place. OK, that’s great I say, cause I do all my local dealer stuff there... I just got the alternator recall done on my Maxima and...
Now he interrupts: "I have a 2003 Nissan Maxima 350Z."
Me: "Really?"
Now one of my friends, Mark, and I are having a silent conversation about this topic across the table. You know the kind, where he looks at me like "Is this guy smoking crack?" and I look at him like "Whatever it is, I don't want any!"
Moron: "Yeah, I got it a while ago, and I go in to the dealership at night to work on it..."
Me: "Alrighty then, well can you make sure they take care of my 95 Hardbody? I have it going in next week for some emissions warranty work."
Moron: "Well, they don't know me very well down there, cause I am only there late at night... what's wrong with it?"
Me: "It has a exhaust manifold problem... the studs have a bad tendency of breaking on those trucks.”
Moron: "Just use some chicken wire to..."
Me: "Ummm... why would I want to do that if they are going to fix it for free?"
Moron: "Oh well, save you some trouble you know... Anyway, went to the Track this spring in my Maxima 350Z and I pulled 7 secs in the quarter!"
Me: "Well ummm, that is certainly impressive for a naturally aspirated vehicle."
Moron: "Oh no, I tore the engine apart and did twin turbos and nitrous... and when it warms up a little I am going to redo it with more nitrous and bigger injectors, so I can get down to fives..."
Me: *Silence* *Bewildered Look* *Listening for the twilight zone theme song* *Bull**** warning indicators going into redline* *Warning warning...
Moron: "Anyway, I gotta get back to work... talk to you guys later..."
Another Server: *Walking by and whispering* "He has quite the imagination..."
Me: "Uhhh, yeah..."
(There is obviously a lot left out... like my initial mental reaction when he said "Maxima 350Z" and when he started backstroking out of working at Liberty Nissan. There were also smaller comments that I excluded... and lots of questions I wanted to ask, but didn't have the heart... like "is the Maxima 350Z front wheel or rear wheel drive, cause if it is Front Wheel drive, then five seconds will be REALLY impressive!" and the statements he made about the 2004 being V8 and AWD for sure... and my comments about knowing that it was not IN FACT going to be AWD and that I was almost positive it was a V6 - and then him saying something about it being an option and it would be standard in 2005)
Went to Denny's last night with the wife and some friends. The freaks were out for sure, must have been a full moon or something.
Anyway, we go there a lot, so all the servers know us pretty well. Well, one of the servers working there decided he wanted to come over for some friendly banter.
This guy was so full of crap, I can't believe he didn't catch fire. First he said that he worked four jobs while complaining about his long shift. Then he says, this is just a filler job and that he had 4 brand new cars and a nice new house. Well, so far, it is just strange, but not necessarily impossible (btw... this guy is about 19).
Now it starts getting interesting... now he says, that he works for Liberty Nissan and his Dad owns the place. OK, that’s great I say, cause I do all my local dealer stuff there... I just got the alternator recall done on my Maxima and...
Now he interrupts: "I have a 2003 Nissan Maxima 350Z."
Me: "Really?"
Now one of my friends, Mark, and I are having a silent conversation about this topic across the table. You know the kind, where he looks at me like "Is this guy smoking crack?" and I look at him like "Whatever it is, I don't want any!"
Moron: "Yeah, I got it a while ago, and I go in to the dealership at night to work on it..."
Me: "Alrighty then, well can you make sure they take care of my 95 Hardbody? I have it going in next week for some emissions warranty work."
Moron: "Well, they don't know me very well down there, cause I am only there late at night... what's wrong with it?"
Me: "It has a exhaust manifold problem... the studs have a bad tendency of breaking on those trucks.”
Moron: "Just use some chicken wire to..."
Me: "Ummm... why would I want to do that if they are going to fix it for free?"
Moron: "Oh well, save you some trouble you know... Anyway, went to the Track this spring in my Maxima 350Z and I pulled 7 secs in the quarter!"
Me: "Well ummm, that is certainly impressive for a naturally aspirated vehicle."
Moron: "Oh no, I tore the engine apart and did twin turbos and nitrous... and when it warms up a little I am going to redo it with more nitrous and bigger injectors, so I can get down to fives..."
Me: *Silence* *Bewildered Look* *Listening for the twilight zone theme song* *Bull**** warning indicators going into redline* *Warning warning...
Moron: "Anyway, I gotta get back to work... talk to you guys later..."
Another Server: *Walking by and whispering* "He has quite the imagination..."
Me: "Uhhh, yeah..."
(There is obviously a lot left out... like my initial mental reaction when he said "Maxima 350Z" and when he started backstroking out of working at Liberty Nissan. There were also smaller comments that I excluded... and lots of questions I wanted to ask, but didn't have the heart... like "is the Maxima 350Z front wheel or rear wheel drive, cause if it is Front Wheel drive, then five seconds will be REALLY impressive!" and the statements he made about the 2004 being V8 and AWD for sure... and my comments about knowing that it was not IN FACT going to be AWD and that I was almost positive it was a V6 - and then him saying something about it being an option and it would be standard in 2005)
02-17-2003, 11:58 AM
#4
Re: Want a laugh? How about a 5 Second 350Z?
Originally posted by Entropy
This is a little long... so crack that beer and sit back.
Went to Denny's last night with the wife and some friends. The freaks were out for sure, must have been a full moon or something.
This is a little long... so crack that beer and sit back.
Went to Denny's last night with the wife and some friends. The freaks were out for sure, must have been a full moon or something.
02-17-2003, 12:05 PM
#6
Supporting Maxima.org Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,470
was his name alexander?
alexander dumas?
alexander dumas?
02-17-2003, 12:09 PM
#7
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,470
Originally posted by SprintMax
http://www.happygrovealumni.com/videos/domestic.avi
http://www.happygrovealumni.com/videos/domestic.avi
how did u find him so fast
02-17-2003, 12:19 PM
#10
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,012
That is too Funny... You just made my week, time to send that my friends. 
Originally posted by SprintMax
http://www.happygrovealumni.com/videos/domestic.avi
http://www.happygrovealumni.com/videos/domestic.avi
02-17-2003, 12:34 PM
#11
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Lakeland, FL
Posts: 431
Originally posted by maxfanfromohio
Interesting story, however, IBTL.
Interesting story, however, IBTL.
02-17-2003, 12:39 PM
#12
Originally posted by SprintMax
http://www.happygrovealumni.com/videos/domestic.avi
http://www.happygrovealumni.com/videos/domestic.avi
02-17-2003, 03:03 PM
#17
Originally posted by rob van dam
your black!...WOW...i am black also...i thought you were some white guy all along....
your black!...WOW...i am black also...i thought you were some white guy all along....
Originally posted by gtr_rider
Oh look, im black too
Oh look, im black too
02-17-2003, 03:38 PM
#24
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,883
Re: Want a laugh? How about a 5 Second 350Z?
Originally posted by Entropy
This is a little long... so crack that beer and sit back.
Went to Denny's last night with the wife and some friends. The freaks were out for sure, must have been a full moon or something.
Anyway, we go there a lot, so all the servers know us pretty well. Well, one of the servers working there decided he wanted to come over for some friendly banter.
This guy was so full of crap, I can't believe he didn't catch fire. First he said that he worked four jobs while complaining about his long shift. Then he says, this is just a filler job and that he had 4 brand new cars and a nice new house. Well, so far, it is just strange, but not necessarily impossible (btw... this guy is about 19).
This is a little long... so crack that beer and sit back.
Went to Denny's last night with the wife and some friends. The freaks were out for sure, must have been a full moon or something.
Anyway, we go there a lot, so all the servers know us pretty well. Well, one of the servers working there decided he wanted to come over for some friendly banter.
This guy was so full of crap, I can't believe he didn't catch fire. First he said that he worked four jobs while complaining about his long shift. Then he says, this is just a filler job and that he had 4 brand new cars and a nice new house. Well, so far, it is just strange, but not necessarily impossible (btw... this guy is about 19).
02-17-2003, 03:48 PM
#26
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 549
i hate those ****ing dumbasses
02-17-2003, 03:54 PM
#27
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 556
Re: Want a laugh? How about a 5 Second 350Z?
Originally posted by Entropy
This is a little long... so crack that beer and sit back.
Went to Denny's last night with the wife and some friends. The freaks were out for sure, must have been a full moon or something.
Anyway, we go there a lot, so all the servers know us pretty well. Well, one of the servers working there decided he wanted to come over for some friendly banter.
This guy was so full of crap, I can't believe he didn't catch fire. First he said that he worked four jobs while complaining about his long shift. Then he says, this is just a filler job and that he had 4 brand new cars and a nice new house. Well, so far, it is just strange, but not necessarily impossible (btw... this guy is about 19).
Now it starts getting interesting... now he says, that he works for Liberty Nissan and his Dad owns the place. OK, that’s great I say, cause I do all my local dealer stuff there... I just got the alternator recall done on my Maxima and...
Now he interrupts: "I have a 2003 Nissan Maxima 350Z."
Me: "Really?"
Now one of my friends, Mark, and I are having a silent conversation about this topic across the table. You know the kind, where he looks at me like "Is this guy smoking crack?" and I look at him like "Whatever it is, I don't want any!"
Moron: "Yeah, I got it a while ago, and I go in to the dealership at night to work on it..."
Me: "Alrighty then, well can you make sure they take care of my 95 Hardbody? I have it going in next week for some emissions warranty work."
Moron: "Well, they don't know me very well down there, cause I am only there late at night... what's wrong with it?"
Me: "It has a exhaust manifold problem... the studs have a bad tendency of breaking on those trucks.”
Moron: "Just use some chicken wire to..."
Me: "Ummm... why would I want to do that if they are going to fix it for free?"
Moron: "Oh well, save you some trouble you know... Anyway, went to the Track this spring in my Maxima 350Z and I pulled 7 secs in the quarter!"
Me: "Well ummm, that is certainly impressive for a naturally aspirated vehicle."
Moron: "Oh no, I tore the engine apart and did twin turbos and nitrous... and when it warms up a little I am going to redo it with more nitrous and bigger injectors, so I can get down to fives..."
Me: *Silence* *Bewildered Look* *Listening for the twilight zone theme song* *Bull**** warning indicators going into redline* *Warning warning...
Moron: "Anyway, I gotta get back to work... talk to you guys later..."
Another Server: *Walking by and whispering* "He has quite the imagination..."
Me: "Uhhh, yeah..."
(There is obviously a lot left out... like my initial mental reaction when he said "Maxima 350Z" and when he started backstroking out of working at Liberty Nissan. There were also smaller comments that I excluded... and lots of questions I wanted to ask, but didn't have the heart... like "is the Maxima 350Z front wheel or rear wheel drive, cause if it is Front Wheel drive, then five seconds will be REALLY impressive!" and the statements he made about the 2004 being V8 and AWD for sure... and my comments about knowing that it was not IN FACT going to be AWD and that I was almost positive it was a V6 - and then him saying something about it being an option and it would be standard in 2005)
This is a little long... so crack that beer and sit back.
Went to Denny's last night with the wife and some friends. The freaks were out for sure, must have been a full moon or something.
Anyway, we go there a lot, so all the servers know us pretty well. Well, one of the servers working there decided he wanted to come over for some friendly banter.
This guy was so full of crap, I can't believe he didn't catch fire. First he said that he worked four jobs while complaining about his long shift. Then he says, this is just a filler job and that he had 4 brand new cars and a nice new house. Well, so far, it is just strange, but not necessarily impossible (btw... this guy is about 19).
Now it starts getting interesting... now he says, that he works for Liberty Nissan and his Dad owns the place. OK, that’s great I say, cause I do all my local dealer stuff there... I just got the alternator recall done on my Maxima and...
Now he interrupts: "I have a 2003 Nissan Maxima 350Z."
Me: "Really?"
Now one of my friends, Mark, and I are having a silent conversation about this topic across the table. You know the kind, where he looks at me like "Is this guy smoking crack?" and I look at him like "Whatever it is, I don't want any!"
Moron: "Yeah, I got it a while ago, and I go in to the dealership at night to work on it..."
Me: "Alrighty then, well can you make sure they take care of my 95 Hardbody? I have it going in next week for some emissions warranty work."
Moron: "Well, they don't know me very well down there, cause I am only there late at night... what's wrong with it?"
Me: "It has a exhaust manifold problem... the studs have a bad tendency of breaking on those trucks.”
Moron: "Just use some chicken wire to..."
Me: "Ummm... why would I want to do that if they are going to fix it for free?"
Moron: "Oh well, save you some trouble you know... Anyway, went to the Track this spring in my Maxima 350Z and I pulled 7 secs in the quarter!"
Me: "Well ummm, that is certainly impressive for a naturally aspirated vehicle."
Moron: "Oh no, I tore the engine apart and did twin turbos and nitrous... and when it warms up a little I am going to redo it with more nitrous and bigger injectors, so I can get down to fives..."
Me: *Silence* *Bewildered Look* *Listening for the twilight zone theme song* *Bull**** warning indicators going into redline* *Warning warning...
Moron: "Anyway, I gotta get back to work... talk to you guys later..."
Another Server: *Walking by and whispering* "He has quite the imagination..."
Me: "Uhhh, yeah..."
(There is obviously a lot left out... like my initial mental reaction when he said "Maxima 350Z" and when he started backstroking out of working at Liberty Nissan. There were also smaller comments that I excluded... and lots of questions I wanted to ask, but didn't have the heart... like "is the Maxima 350Z front wheel or rear wheel drive, cause if it is Front Wheel drive, then five seconds will be REALLY impressive!" and the statements he made about the 2004 being V8 and AWD for sure... and my comments about knowing that it was not IN FACT going to be AWD and that I was almost positive it was a V6 - and then him saying something about it being an option and it would be standard in 2005)
02-17-2003, 04:04 PM
#28
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Join Date: Apr 2001
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Re: Re: Want a laugh? How about a 5 Second 350Z?
Originally posted by nice95GLE
Leave him alone. He must have when to school on the SHORT BUS.
Leave him alone. He must have when to school on the SHORT BUS.
Thank you for showing me the light... in the future, I will be sure to respect the disabilities of others. Next time I will nod and smile, and make sure to say oooooooh, and ahhhhhh at the right moments.
In light of this revelation... would it be cool if I got a 350Z emblem for my Max?
02-17-2003, 04:19 PM
#31
Re: Re: Re: Want a laugh? How about a 5 Second 350Z?
Originally posted by Entropy
You are right, I am ashamed of myself. Here I was, in a situation to help a less fortunate person (in the brain box anyway) out, and I stooped lower than low and made fun of him.
Thank you for showing me the light... in the future, I will be sure to respect the disabilities of others. Next time I will nod and smile, and make sure to say oooooooh, and ahhhhhh at the right moments.
In light of this revelation... would it be cool if I got a 350Z emblem for my Max?
You are right, I am ashamed of myself. Here I was, in a situation to help a less fortunate person (in the brain box anyway) out, and I stooped lower than low and made fun of him.
Thank you for showing me the light... in the future, I will be sure to respect the disabilities of others. Next time I will nod and smile, and make sure to say oooooooh, and ahhhhhh at the right moments.
In light of this revelation... would it be cool if I got a 350Z emblem for my Max?
i think that guy got run over by a 350 max before getting on the short bus.
02-17-2003, 07:47 PM
#34
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 966
Originally posted by maxfanfromohio
See, I told you they would lock. Do I know my org. or not?
See, I told you they would lock. Do I know my org. or not?
02-17-2003, 09:30 PM
#38
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Collins, Colorado
Posts: 1,035
Dude, I thought your car was white
turbo rotary in a GTR Mustang ... why not? You can get rotaries in 510s 
.... but not stock!
Oh maybe the MORON meant to say it ran FOR 7 seconds in the quarter mile ... [you cut him off before he said] and it blew up just like this BS story in my face!
Originally posted by SprintMax
no i am black... and I am not the other guy ither
no i am black... and I am not the other guy ither
.... but not stock! Oh maybe the MORON meant to say it ran FOR 7 seconds in the quarter mile ... [you cut him off before he said] and it blew up just like this BS story in my face!
02-17-2003, 10:37 PM
#39
¿Hablas Español?
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 851
Originally posted by SprintMax
just because i am eloquent and powerful doesnt mean i am white
just because i am eloquent and powerful doesnt mean i am white
02-17-2003, 10:50 PM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 8,659
lol i love it when i get lectured about how 130 HP cars can beat heavier cars with more power