:-( 16 year old son got his driver's license yesterday at 4 PM, and when we pulled up in the driveway at 9, he asked if he could go somewhere. I told him he could take a 30 minute ride. At 11 I finally got a message that he had flipped the car out of a country road and someone gave me a cell number. Upon calling the cell number and finding it out of range, I called the police department. Seems a car had happened upon him just minutes after a friend of his and his Dad drove by. He says he was entering a curve and there were some deer on the road and he swerved to miss them and lost control. Officer thinks he actually rolled it but after going out there today and then to the junk yard, I think, as the son does, that he he lost control, slide sideways down the road about 70-80 feet where the back tire went into a large hole which caused the car to topple over halfway on its roof against a slight embankment.

The thankfulness of his being alive, despite not having on either of the seatbelts and despite the clear imprint of his head that busted the sunroof glass, I am still just soooo furious I can barely look at him. You may remember that this car is only TWENTYONE days old for me, after a friend totalled my Jeep Cherokee. So here I sat with a Altima in my driveway as I await the adjusters report hopefully next week.

Went to the junkyard today to see the damage in the daylight. Despite the claims by the son that's "it can all be fixed" and "don't you DARE let them total it", I dunno. The back driver's tire was completely horizontal, looks like the stem that it is attached to is bent, the trunk won't shut, the front driver's tire is off the rim, slight front corner damage, sunroof busted, above rear seats dented in, and damage all down the driver's side (dented bad at both wheel wells, big dent in the driver's door and just general scratches all over, I somehow have doubt they will do anything but total it, may be wrong.

Interesting enough, this little old town I live in right outside Nashville, had another black maxima...probably couple years newer with front end damage about 5 cars down, then a pathfinder two cars over from it.

I find that I am very sad over the loss of the maxima as I was growing to like it more everyday and I absolutely detest starting that whole "buying a used car" process all over again. I have told the son he might as well FRAME that license because if I can even afford my own insurance now, I damn sure wasn't paying for his now.<sniff>

 

You know with that much damage, I probably would not want it back. If it's a 3-gen, it's gonna be totalled. Totals only require the damage to be about 75% of the value of the car. From what you describe, it's way more than that. Plus, I doubt any 16 yo would really know what he was talking about regarding auto mechanics/bodywork anyway. Yeah the kid took your trust and abused it. I would definately let the suffer for a long time. If he wants a car, let him EARN it and pay for the insurance by himself! Best of luck finding another car!

 

That's a real sad story. I'm sorry to hear about the accident and I'm glad that your son wasn't severly injured. It could have been alot worse. So he wasn't wearing any seatbelts?? Just after getting his license and NO Seatbelt?? That's insane. I'm so glad I have automatic seatbelts on my max cuz that forces me to wear it. It seems to me your maxima is totaled. There is alot of damage done to the car. And even if you want to have it fixed, it will never be the same again... trust me. This should teach your son a very good lesson... well atleast I hope it does. Good luck with finding another car, if your maxima is considered totaled.

 

Well if your son is ok i think that a beating would not be totally out of line. But i had a 90 maxima gxe and when i got into my accident the car was not really in that bad a shape but its easy to total them when ther old wiht miles etc.... time to buy your son a volvo =)

 

Jeff, thats exactly what I keep telling this child..I don't think I WANT it even fixed and yes.he said the same thing about the Jeep that had wrapped a tree and rolled numerous times. Oh these kids..can't tell them ANYTHING.

In the emergency room at 2 AM, my girlfriend kept telling me "remember, I know you are furious and you have every right to be, but he's alive, he's not a parapelegic or braindead as he very well could be especially if he'd been thrown from the car, just remember that and be thankful".

Skymax, my max had the belts..that if the person doesn't unclip them, are automatic, but every AM when I got in the car, they were unclipped. His Dad said the thing that made him the maddest was that he wasn't wearing the selt beats. I thought it was odd that even his prescription from the doctor had "UNRESTRAINED DRIVER IN ROLLOVER, MVA" and thats what the doctor said to him first..."well..what is the most important thing you have learned.....".

And Se91...lol, when I got to the scene and walked over to my car, the first thing I said to him was "you better be damned glad that cop is here because I want to beat the sh..crap out of you!!" And at one point, in the little bit of arrogant attitude that still showed occasionally he said "you haven't even showed any concern for me"..and I screamed.."well....you are STANDING...and my car IS NOT, and if you'd been home in the 30 minutes I told you too, it wouldn't be like that, now would it?" I was thinking today I wish his Dad's parent were alive because I'd love to hear their stories. He wrecked many a car in his youth and I need to hear stories about how someone can do that..and still turn out to be a decent, responsible human being. A volvo? lol..I want one!!! and yes, I'd love to buy him one of those old square ones. I remember thinking that as long as my insurance covered him, and he was ok, hopefully it will be a big lesson to him, but by my measurement of the attitude last night and today...its not going to be one like I'd hope. I wish there was a parenting manual for how to deal with "gearhead 16 year old boys".


I also remember screaming at him something about "no Justin, that car just WON'T take his curve at 60 mph, I don't give a sh..crap if deer were on the side of the road or not!". I don't believe the deer story btw, and there are no brake marks. Well, there are slight rubber burns from the middle of the curve to across the gravel where the car came to rest, and the skid marks are of it going sideways. He made a comment that he thought he was going to be able to pull outta it but then said something about the brakes, not that they went out..but just something odd about them, can't remember exact comment.

I've already been scouring the web for maxima's and have found a couple. The only thing that makes me a little less tense on this "most probable" new car search..is this time..I know what I want. And I want to say..thanks to you all, I am feel a lot more comfortable about looking for another one after being here on the boards since I got the other one.

-L

 

Just be glad he's alive.

Go give the kid a hug. Let him feel the love. F***k the car.
Love will teach him better than a beatting. Even tho I understand ur frustation. I've been blamed of having similar attitude at that age. But I think that's expected of many boys at that age.

Best of luck finding a new ride, luckly Nissan made many Maximas. But, U only have one hardheaded 16 year old.

Peace.

 

nah......beat him! lol

im just playin, im sure hes a good kid, he will love that tank, i mean volvo =)

 

Originally posted by NJ95gxe
[I]Just be glad he's alive.

Go give the kid a hug. Let him feel the love. F***k the car


Love will teach him better than a beatting. Even tho I understand ur frustation. I've been blamed of having similar attitude at that age. But I think that's expected of many boys at that age.


Best of luck finding a new ride, luckly Nissan made many Maximas. But, U only have one hardheaded 16 year old.

Peace.

 

OH wow, that really sucks, sorry to hear that... i guess its just good he is ok. Did he have otehr people in the car or just him? IM 16, and i am understanding why when i FIRST got my liscence my mom restricted me, because after i got the liscnce all i wanted to do was test the limits of her car (95 montero SUV) and wow what i would have got myself into had i had a lot of time with that car.... over time she let me out more and more and i finally got my own car and all (maxima) and i think it tought me to be a bit more responsible. plus the threat of if anything at all happens, no more licsnce for Brandon....although i must say i am by no means a perfect driver... but i try to be immature with my car only when i know it is somewhat safe to do so... i konw my susp. cant take much in turns, and driving my car for a while has tought me that... if i got my car on the first day i drove alone, who konws what it would be like... i mean i am a constant speeder, bad me.. but i know its only a matter of time befroe a ticket, and unfortunatly i know myself that is probably gonna be the thing that in the end makes me not speed, or drive at all if my liscence gets taken away (by mom). i dunno, its all in your judgement whether he was responsible enough to drive your car, my om at first didnt think so, i had to prove myself, and i guess i did, so its cool now. I hope some of this made sense, haha anywyas its just good to hear that eeryones ok, you can always replace materials, not humans... and hey its an excuse not to buy him a car now! punishment, he has to feel some remorse thats for damn sure, i think you said you took his liscence away... good luck!! sorry to hear bout the loss.

 

i see that you have replyed and said that at 16 the son doesnt know much about autobody or mechanics but thats not always true...im 17 and i hae been working in a body shop for 3 years. Just from what i heard about this accident i would have to say that if its a 3rg gen its totaled and prolly has over $10,000 worth of damage. Well just wanted to let u know just cuz someone is young doesnt mean they dont know what they are talkin about!

And sorry to hear about the accident! BUY ANOTHER MAX! And tell your son to buy his own max!!!

 

Hell, get him a 1967 Chrysler Imperial Station Wagon...A kid at my school has that...the license plate says "DA BOAT"...I think it should be "DA TANK" or Get the hell out of the way...man that thing makes the Excursion SUV's look small...sheeeeitt....

...and it gets "great" mileage for a 7500lb car...hehe..
...but cheap insurance though...

 

Wow! Dude that's a neat job to have at 17. It's great that you are learning something interesting vs a job at a fast food chain etc.... I wish I had a job like that when I was your age.

OhWhatAthrill.. I understand your frustrations although I'm not a parent yet. He seems like a good kid and you just wanna keep him alive and well until he learns how to be more mature. It would be a shame for a basicly good kid to pass away or get hurt just becuase he doesn't understand yet. Hell I didn't even get my license until I was 17. And my first car? 1970 Datusn 510 that had no engine, tranny, interior etc... I had to BUILD my first car! Still I was dumb and wrecked it w/ a female in the car. Fortunately no one was hurt. But I lived to see my more "mature" years. LOL 33! I'm sure his friends think he's cool for surviving all these wrecks. There MUST be some kind of punishment so that he realizes that for every action, there is a reaction. As a non-parent though, I have NO idea what that would be. Let me in on what you decide. I'll file it away and maybe use it in about 15 years or so! Good Luck!

 

Wow.. I'm rettibly sorry to hear that. The important thing is he's okay.. it's just a car.. blah blah..
the first time I wrecked my truck when I was 16, (exact same situation.. unfamiliar country road at night.. but there really was a dog in the road. I hit him AND the ditch).. my dad yelled and screamed and kicked the bejeezus out of my *** and the truck..
Then the next morning he got me up at 6am and we started fixing it. only minor damage in my case, but I learned my lesson...

I'm glad noone was hurt, but hopefully it'll teach him a lesson. he'll slow down for a while, but it won't take long before he's a manica behind the wheel again.. he's a 16yr old male.. enough said.

As for my experiences when I was that age, I NEVER got to drive my parent's cars. the insurance company specifically excluded me & my sis from drivng the parents cars. we both had POS cars... parents paid half, and we paid the other half up front, plus anything else (gas, insurance, etc).
Sooo, it was OUR car and OUR fault if something happened to it. if it was wrecked, we got to find a ride until we could pay to replace it. Needless to say, I still got to bum rides to school for several weeks of my high school life. BUT.. it was my fault and I knew it.
I'm still alive.. I'm still crazy behind the wheel sometimes (well most of the time)... but I've only been in one major collision that was my fault- if you count falling asleep as being my fault.

I know the last thing you want is parenting advice, but if I were you, I'd let the kid find rides to school for a month or two and never let him drive anywhere unless you're in the car with him, and then only during the day.. pretend he's 15 again, until he can prove he is going to be sane when you're not there.
THEN.. I'd buy him an '82 Buick. they cost about $700 and insurance is about $1/year on them.
he'll learn how to maintain his own car, and he'll have something that's nearly invincible the next time he decides to go deer hunting late at night!

He'll also be the laughing stock of the high school for owning such a boat.. but then again all the guys I know that owned them were pretty cool guys and we loved to take their cars because we could cram 3 guys and 6 girls in the back seat!
blah blah. I'll shut up now.. too many margaritas tonight! (And yes, I let the GF drive home.. which is why I insisted on taking her car to dinner tonight.

 

You guys are great. I appreciate all the comments..and yes, even the parenting advice from those that aren't even parents yet :-), if you are a male and have passed the 16yr mark, any advice or thoughts you offer are helpful.

You guys know the car that he would love to have..right? He wants an old Chevelle!!!!! If he were to ever get that, I'd take bets on how soon the first wreck would be.... :-(

Ok, gotta run, have a national sales rep meeting to attend to until 7 PM tonight..and then dinner and....what I probably need most...DRINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a little more calm today, spent some time looking around on the net last night, and I have a good feeling that I will get a decent settlement out of the car and can find a replacement..and who knows...maybe one a better one.

Thanks again and really..I appreciate all comments about dealing with the child from a male perspective.

-L

 

I'm 18 now and I remember when I got my license at 17 I was still not a well experienced driver, I passed the road test by being extra careful and driving extra slow. That is how I kept on driving for a couple of months because the 1st car I was driving was my fathers 1987 Mercury Sable GS, which has horrible brakes plus its very crappy on acceleration, I didn't mind that since I wasn't into speed or anything, it just looked so beat up with the paint rusting off the hood, trunk and roof, so I was more concerned with its looks and not crashing since its really a POS. But now, i think its great I learned to drive on that car, it was that car, a Dodge Neon from the driving school and a Toyota Corolla. Few months after I got my license I finally got my Maxima, most of which I paid for, my parents lend me nearly 2 grand and the rest was paid by me, (around 5k). The 3rd gen Max was my dream used car ever since I got interested in cars, when I got it, the 1st few weeks I drove carefully and smoothly taking very good care of it, making sure I wasn't accelerating hard and avoiding all pot holes. Later on, I found the capabilities of the VE and did push it like a race car at times, 2 months later my allready screwed up transmission died. Then after I dumped the rest of my money (which I had stashed for mods) into the tranny rebuilt, I never really beat on it ever since, there is no point, since I know I'll be the one paying the repairs or begging my parents for help.
I know many many kids my age who remind me of your son a little bit..... and let me tell ya, don't go buying your son another car, or helping him out regardless of how much he says he learned his lesson, let him go get a job, he doesn't even go to school so what the hell... (not flamming him or anything)
I know some kids who borrow their parents cars, and I'm not talking 8-10 year old Maximas, they have NEW or leased cars which the kids beat on, even get into accidents with... they do not learn from it either since the parents are flexible.
Your son will be upset at himself for sometime, but in a little while, its going to wear off and he'll eventually attempt something "wild" again, there is nothing that can be done except you can make sure he is responsible enough to make the right decision.

Hope u find another max.

 

well i'm 17... and just had an accident :-) my mom freaked initally and started yelling about why i was out to lunch. my dad was cooler because he wasn't a perfect teenager. it helps to empathize with your son. understand that my mom has wrecked 4 cars in her driving career, but thinks that my snowbank incident is the end of the world. i told my mom to chill because i was going to pay for everything. insurance, repairs, maintence, payments. so if your kid is taking the responsibility on his own, then he's learned, so don't rub it in. if he still says it's not my fault, then a volvo it is... in a 1 car accident it couldn't be anyone elses. good luck -

 

make him get his own car, that way he cant just say "oh its my dads car, it doesnt matter if i blow the tranny or dent it". if he breaks something, its his problem. he has to make something his own, he has to care what happens to it. give him a little help if you think you can trust him (my parents gave me a car but i had to pay them a certain amount each month and $500 up front...and i'm still paying). the day i got my liscence it was raining and i took my test in my moms explorer, i then went for a drive in my 87 bmw 325 5 speed. i couldnt believe how strange it felt to drive however i felt like i didnt have to be good or go slow or anything. so i took off fishtailing all over the place having the time of my life. then i'm doing 75 up the main road (speed limit is 40), i reach down to change the CD and i almost rail the sidewalk..so i decide to slow down(to about 55), but i still take corners too fast.
then, since this particular car had some sort of fuel delivery problem, it started to hesitate(refused to go over 2500 RPM, 0-30 in like 15seconds) for the rest of my drive (10 minutes to my friends house who also got his liscence that day and 20 minutes home). 4 days later i need some money for gas, so i goto the bank and take some money out, i come home, park the car and eat lunch. 1:45pm rolls around and its time for me to head to work, i start the car, it hesitates really bad so i give it some gas, .25" down the pedal and i hear a pop ( the hood is popped open and the grill is blown 20 feet across the street), the first thing to go through my mind is "oh **** it just ate the new timing belt". before i can shut the car off i see a little bit of smoke come up from the hood, a flame shoots over the hood and i get out quick. my dad was at the door and saw the whole thing happen. he runs out, shuts the car off and pulls the hood open while the neighbor snagged the fire extinguisher from his open truck and puts out the fire. before i realize what happened my dad says "take my car to work" so i get in and drive to work. i'm gone within 1 minute of the explosion before the sirens for the fire trucks could be heard.
needless to say it was a very sobering experiance. it didnt have anything to do with my driving but i will never f*ck around like i did the day i got my liscence (and the few days after until my car blew up too).
then 2 weeks later my friend misjudges a corner, boot gets caught on the bottom of the brake pedal and wrecks his beautiful 94 altima GLE. he and another friend walked away from that with a burn and a broken finger.
i'm just here to say that kids learn from negative "real world" feedback. if your son doesnt want to wear his seatbelt, he isnt going to, if he wants to drive fast, he will. at least from my experiance there is nothing anyone can say or do to get me to drive slower. i however do know my limits (in my moms explorer, my dads maxima and my bmw). if your son is hardheaded like me, he has to get scared by something, maybe this experiance did it, maybe not. good luck.
sorry for rambling on. hopefully you understand what i'm sayin'

 

it is definitly true that you will abuse a car that isnt yours much more... then if you owned it yourselve. Oh man... my moms freind has a mercedes SL500 and she let me take it out with my dad, and i abused the **** out of it... and guess what in the end i ran into a curb a lil too fast on the 18" low profiles tires and POP put a hole right in em... wow that sucked, my dad stayed cool though but was very dissapointed. Actually i was REALLY lucky in that one becuase i didnt end up having to pay for it (about 500 bucks) but damn did i learn my lesson. then i got to take a 2000 corvette out with just my brother, didnt crash it, but just floored the **** out of it, no dohnuts though, told the guy we wouldnt, but i still abused it pretty bad. If it was my own with my money, i dont think would have abused it as bad at all.. even my moms beamer, she lets me take that out for a short while, and damn i give thta thing a workout too, just cause i didnt pay for it. my max though, i treat pretty nice, sometimes i go harsh, but i care a lot more for it. LIke matt, i had to pay half for my car, and half my ins. (too much $$$$ 2k a year total, i pay 1jk) and my own gas and anything else.

 

I dont abuse cars that arent mine, in fact I treat them better then I do my own. mostly because i wouldnt want people to abuse my car if I let them take it.

 

well i didnt abuse them so that i would ruin them, i just work them a little harder then when i drive my own, but its also because i only have a short span with them, and i wanna test em out! i really learned my lesson after the mercedes incedent though, and if i take someones car out, i may work it, but i am defintily careful about it in the process

 

I've posted at the other forum about my vallet parking job. I got flamed by some people over there because me and some of the other guys that work with me decided to take out a 5spd 95 SE for a drive. Basically I don't know how to drive stick well, I've had limited experience and never hit high gears, so the dude thats in charge even insisted that we take that maxima, and told another guy to teach me/guide me in driving stick for experience. I didn't beat on it, but I did let the clutch go fast a few times and stalled a few times as well. After 10-15 minutes, I didn't want to screw with the guys car and we just put it back in the lot. I understand why people were pissed, so I'm not trying to give excuses. Vallet parking is not the way to go, never trust them with the car, I know, thats what I do Now, me, I seriousely don't beat on cars on purpose, I might accelerate at 3/4 throttle sometimes but nothing else.. if I wanted to, I could do worse **** with those cars, there is many restaraunts around and I see other vallet guys racing those cars and **** like that. People at my place **** with them too but not a lot, there have been incidents before where some guy was talking about how his car was brought back with a dented door, he was completely full of **** though, nothing was done to it by us, I guess he tried to be smart and get the restaraunt to pay for his repairs. HOWEVER, we are not responsible for anything missing or any damages so there is nothing they can do.. Anyways, the lesson is, do not vallet park your cars if you go out.... Its probably not as bad in NYC since you have no space to accelerate hard or do doughnuts or neutral drops with cops all over the place.

I never beat on others cars, I run the vallet cars kind of hard sometimes but don't spin tires, or take turns at crazy speeds. If I'm driving a friends car, I'm always very careful and drive it beter then my own, knowing if I cause an accident, I'm in deep ****. My parents car never sees any hard driving from me... because I'm afraid it'll fall apart :laughing:

 

oh man..some of you guys heard my vallet stories from the other board... im too lazy to type it all over again, but yea listen to NYC, dont ever vallet park your cars... even our cars!!!

 

a) Truth be told, I know what having a wreck at 16 and in your parents' car feels like. The first accident I had was because some doofus decides that he wants to have the right of way and really did not. I was driving my parents' Cadillac Seville at the time. Granted, the accident was not my fault, but I knew that my father was going to be pissed nonetheless. However, the best thing that came out of it was that the other party got cited for failure to yield right of way.
Although I have no kids, I understand your reaction to the situation because he chose not to obey you or respect your wishes as a parent. I say, let him stew in the ramifications of his actions. That will be effective enough to make him realize that he is responsible for when he gets behind the wheel of anyone's car.

b) When I was 19, I worked at a body shop and garnered a little practice doing body work repainting my 1977 Cutlass.
This experience taught me what to look for in terms of body damage repair when shopping for a car and the process it takes to paint a car (including going to get the paint, primer, sandpaper, et. al). Basically, I am asaying that one should not dismiss a young person totally because he/she may have experience and wisdom in an area that you don't.

 

woo, my first .org action! ;x (02-02-2001)

maybe a few guys remember this....JEFF, MATT. ;x just wanted to make a few comments in retrospect, so that i'm not always remembered as a reckless teenager.


I had my automatic seatbelt on. still don't use the lap belt.

some of the damage could have been fixed....it was the motor and other parts i wanted to buy back after the total....because i knew i wanted more maximas! just like she didnt buy back my second wrecked maxima.... VE5 FTMFW....and she didnt buy it back, even though it became mine after a deer collision that paid her for the value of the car, and allowed me to take over ownership. ;x thus making it my decision to buyback or not.

The VE5's buyback was around $300....cheap VE and VLSD imho.

i never saw the jeep after the wreck until after the total ;x


oh yes, it will.

 

This is going to accomplish nothing justin...let it go...