1. Drive 10 mph under the speed limit. Or 20 mph over the speed limit. Either method will get the job done.
2. If you are driving 10 mph under the speed limit, drive only in the left-most lane in your direction of travel. If you are driving 20 mph over the speed limit, pass that SOB on the right, and cut back to the left scant inches in front of him. That'll teach him!
3. Tail-gate the vehicle in front of you. The more traffic there is, the closer you need to follow the car in front.
4. If the driver in front of you and in the next lane puts on their turn signal so they can move into your lane, SPEED UP to block them off their lane-change. ("NOBODY cuts in front of me!")
5. Left-lane banditry is mandatory. Don't have the common courtesy to move right for anybody, for any reason. Even an ambulance! (See rule #2.) They can just pass on the right.
6. DO NOT USE A TURN SIGNAL EVER... NEVER... until you have heavily applied your brake. (This works best in combination with rule #3.)
7. The smaller, more under-powered your car is, the more wildly you must slash through rush hour traffic.
8. The more bluish smoke that issues from your tail-pipe, the more kite string you must use to secure that 2-ton load of drywall to your roof.
9. The road bed on a bridge must NOT smoothly transition to the adjacent roadway. Rather, the road bed on the bridge must deviate by at least 12". As one ramps-up to drive across the bridge, and as one ramps-down to exit the bridge, one is required to bounce off the head-liner hard.
10. SUVs are required to muscle their way through traffic, exercising no evidence of common courtesy, finesse, nor safety. (The more body roll an SUV driver can induce during a simple lane-change, the better!)

Argh...!

 

Lol, that's all the truth!!!! Memphis drivers truly suck. I'm really loving how they've been shutting down off ramps off I-40. I discovered that last weekend when I was headed towards summer....and then a two weeks ago when a grandma in an excursion tried to run me off the road so she could get to the Nashville exit first........... gotta love how raggedy the roads are as well. Winchester is especially disgusting between Kirby and Best Buy/K-mart......That road is nasty...I don't even wanna think about how it's gonna be when I finally put these springs on and put my rims back on....shake the poor maxima to pieces......

 

sounds like D.C. driving 101 to me.
-s1rch

 

And NYC driving rules. I saw a 15 car fender bender on the Hutch this morning because everyone is following the car in front of them with 6 feet bumper to bumper.

 

seems like those rules will apply anywhere...

Medicsonic, I hate driving on the Hutch...always so much traffic...2 lanes...no passing...a bunch of slow cars...a lot of accidents...

 

Yeah, the Sprain is the exact opposite, sometimes I have trouble keeping up with traffic (yeah, right).

 

the Sprain?

 

Sprain Brook Parkway, runs from the Bronx River Parkway in Yonkers to the Taconic Parkway in Pleasantville. 15 miles of beautiful parkway. It runs halfway between I-87 and the Bronx River.

 

hehe...I accepted a long time ago that there is no such things as the "fast" lane in Chicago traffic...it's always either taffic jamed up the wazzoo or play the cuting game to pass people...

 

Oh man, you Memphis people don't know how good you have it. I'm originally from Memphis, and I'm in college in Boston now. Boston drivers make Memphis drivers look like saints. Boston people won't hesitate to cut you off, pull out in front of you when you have the right of way, turn right from the left hand lane, etc. They are by far the worst drivers I've ever seen. Driving in Memphis is a dream by comparison. Roads there are way better than up here, also.

I miss driving in Memphis...

 

today.. You guys drive way better than they do in the DC area..

 

Just got home from Memphis tonight, and I40 sucks. Lots of construction on the bridge and the Arkansas State Police were playing with their new laser guns.

 

the opposite direction.. There were a lot of construction signs but very little construction goin' on....