It's story time again, kids. Fatherly Uncle Hollywood will regale (or bore) you with another tale. ...And by the title, you can probably guess what it's about. ...And it's long.



It's a nice Sunday morning and myself and a colleague were coming out of the downtown mixmaster onto I-35 Northbound. We were headed towards D-FW International to pick up a friend who was getting back from three weeks in Alaska.

We were late picking him up, so I was driving...um...rather quickly. Traffic was light on the strech of Stemmons between the American Airlines Center and the Hwy 114 branch-off, with the left two lanes relatively clear.

So, yeah, I was cookin' with gas.

We're coming up on Regal Row on 114 when I look in my rearview mirror. A Dallas PD with its gumballs flashing was charging up on me hard.

Oops.

So I pull over. (Oh, save your sighs of disappointment, people. If I'd ran, I sure as hell wouldn't be writing this-I assume they don't have dial-up or DSL in County.)

The officer gets out of his crusier and does the "belt-hitch pull" which looks odd given that he's wearing shorts. He strolls up to my window, and with a rather sour look on his face, says, "Mornin'. D'ya know how fast you were goin'? Wanna guess? 80? 90?"

Hmm. I think. What to tell him... If I name my exact speed, that would be real bad. But denying that I wasn't just flagrantly breaking the speed limit won't work either. What to say... Something non-comittal, yet realistic.

"Fast enough for a ticket, huh?" Predictably, he failed to see the humor in my statement.

Now that my bone-headed remark was out of the way, it was the Officer's turn to reply with something just as dumb:

"You blew past me at Oak Lawn and 35," he said. "I was two lanes over. Didn't you see me?"

"Officer," I replied, "If I had seen you, I most definitely would have not blown past you at those speeds." Duh.

The Officer was a bit...cranky. He said he couldn't catch up due to a couple of trucks he couldn't get around. By this time I realized there was no way I was getting out of a ticket with this guy. I blew past him at the Oak Lawn exit. Those familiar with Dallas will know that this is just past the "Tollway/Hi-line" exit near downtown.

I pulled out my Expedia map program, and measured the distance from where he said I passed him, to the Regal Row exit on 114, where I stopped.

Nearly five miles. Oh, damn.

I've observed that for the most part, Dallas PD couldn't give a rat's cornhole about speeders-on highways or surface streets. Now the Richardson and Plano PD-they're different-regular traffic *****. But Dallas PD are pretty loose on speeding issues.

So, I pretty much apologized for speeding, and the fact that he had to work to catch me, and then asked where I needed to sign the ticket.

It was interesting, though. He didn't tell me to slow down (a usual parting refrain from Officers).

Oh, well. He gave me a ticket for 80 in a 60-nice of him, considering I had been topping 90. Since it's under the "25 mph over the limit" rule- I'm still able to go the defensive driving route to have the ticket dismissed.

So. The moral of this story is this:

"No matter how much funny you think it is, blowing past a cop at 90 does not tickle a cop's funny bone. Matter of fact, I don't think it tickles them at all." -Capt. Obvious.

**Hollywood is being led away in handcuffs.**

 

 

I don't think I have ever run into a cop with a sense of humor. In the past, I tried putting some humor into the conversation when I got pulled over. The cop just had a stone cold face look on him. Oh well, I guess that's better than him giving me a hard time.

 

right or wrong, he says he knows before he gets out of his car if he's going to ticket or not... already made up his mind based on speed, traffic, *type of car*, and just how he feels.

If he's already decided you're getting a tickeet, you can't talk your way out of it. If he decided against a ticket, you definitely *can* talk your way *into* one. A little *respectful* and self-deprecating humor can go a long way.

 

Well, I wasn't trying to talk my way out of the ticket. I was speeding and got busted fair and square. I just tried to put a bit of humor into it.

 

hollywood, that was very well written. i commend you on not being nasty and putting a light hearted tone to it! i too got a ticket and must fend for myself. hopefully, with the help of a lawyer, chris91, who's that lawyer you recommended? i haven't gotten one yet(lookin around). i gotta get on the ball already.

 

sorry.. you could read my post two ways... what I meant was your humor was a good thing to try.

If he had already decided you're getting a ticket, there's nothing you can do about it. But if he wasn't going to, starting off with "you're a public servant, get me a glass of water" would be a bad move (I have friends who think that's funny - they get tickets regularly).

 

2k2wannabe, VQdriver....

Indeed! No offense taken at all. Iwas driving over the posted limit, he got me fair and square. I wasn't planning on trying to talk my way out-I just didn't see it happen. He was gracious enough to cut me a ticket for 80 mph instead of 90. That would have sucked-no way to avoid having that on my record.

Besides, everyone on this forum will agree that cops are underpaid/underappreciated for the what their job entails.

He knew I wasn't going to protest the ticket. Heck, after a five-mile run, close to 90, it's good he didn't get out and cuff me on the hood of his crusier.

Yeah, as CAR-FUCIOUS say: "He who sassy with cop have vast ticket collection."

My lawyer is a college buddy. I'll probably give him some time in a B737 simulator, and he'll take care of me on the ticket. VQDriver, you live in NJ, right? I'd be able to tell you how ticket procedures in Texas are, but I'm at a loss in NJ. Defensive driving/deferred adjuication, maybe?

 

I got pulled over once doing 70 in a 30, out where I work. Local cop, not very friendly, and asked me where I was going in such a hurry. I told him back to work, becuase I had eaten at Maebobs ( the only place to eat in the entire county) and that I was sick to my somach and needed to get back before I had an accident in my pants. He thought I was kidding, and took 15 min to write out the ticket. As He walked back up to the car with the ticket, I ripped the nastiest, smelliest fart in the history of my anus. I mean the type I had to get the seat re-Scotchguarded after it. He gets a good wiff as he gets back up to my car, and just says, "Damn, son, you weren't BS'in' me about being sick were ya...." I told him nope. He actually appoligied to me about taking so long, and had he known I was serious would have never written me the ticket. Damn Rednecks.....

 

wow...nice to know that there are others like me who feel for the cops. its true, for the high-risk jobs that they do, they surely are underpaid/underappreciated. a little frustration on their part is kinda justified. heck, i get frustrated even when i am sitting in a comfy chair in a centrally cooled building. imagine the cops sitting in their crusisers in the heat and grime and the noise of the traffic and then having to play big brother to traffic violaters and also having to listen to some crap from some of them.

oh btw...donuts anyone ?

 

Man! When i get on stemmons I usually go about 110 or so. Never been followed or pulled over. Only times where I have seens cops were near harry hines and they were pulled over my sherrifs or constibals.
Man good luck.

 

That was classic...

 

i been pulled over 5 times in the last 6 months and have 0 tickets to show for it. be quick witted, innocent, apologetic, and you can talk your way out of anything.

 

Policy.

I got pulled over twice in one day. The first being the most painful. In both incidents I was in the wrong period.

1) Moving day. I was inbetween loads, tired and frustrated with the amount of crap I have. 4 lane road both ways. Dufus in front, being pokey slow, decides he is going to hog both lanes and begin to negotiate the slowest right hand turn ever. Me being the impatient person I am decides to go LOC on him. Problem: made a car swerve outta my way. Bigger Problem: It was a police officer....DOH! Knowing I was busted as soon as he hit the brakes, I pulled over. Funny thing is it took him a while to get the big crown vic turned around. A couple of back an forths...it was humorous (after the fact). I was still rummaging for the Title/Reg/insurance and had the contents of my glovebox on the floorboards. They must have thought I was going for something and both approached with guns drawn...(now I needed a new pair of shorts!) I stopped what I was doing and answered his questions:
Do you know why I pulled you over? Yup I was a dumbass and tried to pass left of center through and intersection.
Why? Because I was to tired and impatient with the individual in front of me.
He asked for licience and reg..I could only give him my DL and asked if I could continue to look for the other documentation? Yup.

I finally found my stuff and he came and got it. Eventually coming back with just a warning because of a couple of things:
1) I admitted my violation without excuses
2) I immediately pulled over and did not make him chase me (he kinda chuckled over this one..still puzzles me)
3) I was driving with my lights on (it was raining)????

Let me on my way with just my time being the only cost.

Second story short and sweet...10 minutes later get pulled over for speeding on the highway....67 in a 55. Had all my stuff ready...wonder why? Gave it to him, told him speeding, he let me off with a warning also telling me to slow a bit because of the rain....

I went home and stopped moving and finished the next day. Figured I was not going to press my luck.

Moral: Police have heard it ALL a million times and will hear it a million times again. Be polite, honest and treat them like human beings. Its not their fault you broke the law! They just have to wade through all the crap to enforce it. My fault my bad...just got lucky those two times.

 

Never had any problems in the Big D, nice place to go on business. Really friendly people too, almost too friendly.

Out of curiousity, if you were the cop, that is shoe were on the other foot, is there some other way you would have handled the situation? TX sure wounds pretty lenient to dismiss the ticket. I just heard on the radio NJ notified Montgo. Co. PA about all these DUI convictions going back 2 years and now PA has suspended all the licenses for a year.

 

Few months ago, I was on my way home from work about 10pm. tired and ready to get home, I was cruising about 105.. I'm heading up a long hill and just kinda watching traffic go by on the other side. soon as one that looks like crown vic headlights goes by, I see brake lights. there's about 500 yards of guardrail before he can turn around, so I get the bright idea of dropping to 4th and hauling a$$ out of there. no traffic for a good mile or so, so I've got to get out of there quick if I want to play that game. I take it up to about 130 or so and finally catch up to a few cars and slow to their speed and pull into the right lane with the rest of the pack.

I'm watching my mirror the whole time, and FINALLY about 7 miles later, I see crown vic headlights in the mirror.. he's cruising a good speed.. at least 115, no lights.. he comes up quick and flashes his headlights (no strobes or anything yet) to get people out of the way.. soon as he blows by me, he looks over and slams on his brakes and hits the lights.. pulls behind me, so I signal, pull over, and stop.

he immediately jumps out of the cruiser and comes running up to the car, flashlight in one hand, gun in the other.. "Was that you a few miles back that passed me at warp seven?!"

me: [very calmly] "I don't believe so. I just got on this highway. some red car just about peeled my paint off he was going so fast.. I'm just trying to get home from a long day at work, officer."

"I got him at 105.. if I catch him, the guys downton are gonna have some fun with this one!"

He then turns and runs back to the car and peels off, Rosco P. Coltrane style.



I stuck the cruise at 60 for the last 3 miles until I got to town.

 

You are a lucky SOB Matt.


I actually got the "Would you drive off the edge of a cliff if they did too?" line from a cop once. I told him I was going with the flow of traffic.

 

What were the details given on the ticket? How did he clock your speed?

If you blew by him and it took him 5 miles to catch up, I think you may be able to get out of that one. I know you should be punished for your crime, but at least try to get out of it and make him work for it.

 

Whatever you do, when they ask you questions, like how fast do you think you were going, don't remain silent. I tried that once, you know, the "I plead the 5th", It REALLY upsets the good ole boys. It was fun watching his face turn red though.

 

mzmtg is right. I dont think he can prove you were the one driving the car since it took him 5 miles to pull you over. That ticket should not hold up in court.

 

how could you stay calm like that? damn when i'm guilty i'm always worried that i look really guilty.

two words: radar detector

 

Bwhahahah pure genius

 

Quite possible. Scotty (my attorney buddy) is kind of thinking the same thing. The officer said that he "got stuck behind a couple of trucks, and that's why it took so long to get me."

Okay, I'll buy that, but why not use your 'mergency flashers to get 'em outta the way? ...Of course, he may have done that, and it may have taken that long to catch up.

 

You were pretty lucky. Sounds like you were about to be someone prison beeyatch, there Matt. That was priceless.....

 

I actually talked my way out of a ticket going 143 on that same highway about a year before. it's good to know certain people. (plus I know most of the people in the office. "ticket? what ticket? it's in his file? It can't be, he has no file... oh, and on your way out, would you please take this bag of shredded paper to the trash?"

 

 

those pba badges help alot too every now and then

 

In NY, if you commit a moving violation, by law, he/she must not lose sight of you at any time, otherwise it is void. Doesn't mean they won't give you the ticket, but it won't hold up in court, with a decent lawyer.

BJGemini

p.s. why is everyone so afraid of Crooklyn?

 

Think about what you are saying--you get a ticket, but because the officer lost sight of you it doesn't hold up. Where exactly does the ticket state that the officer lost sight, is there some sort of check box on the summons? He lasers you at 90, your round the bend while his motor spools up and he fights traffic to enter the roadway, eventually pulls you over but it doesn't hold up? Held up pretty well with my friends when I lived in NYC.

Who said they're afraid of Crooklyns? Some of the most expensive real estate in NYC is in Brooklyn Heights. Just a shame what happened to my great grandma though, she owned the building that she first lived in when she came here, wouldn't sell it in the mid-70's when it was a mint (obviously this story has been told to me by relatives), now the building has virtually no value due to all the activity that's goin' on in it. Shame when that happens. Time marches on.

 

Didn't say they don't give you the ticket, or that many people dont have to pay-up.... just letting you know about a little used loophole.

I also have been reading about 2-3 people getting lost in Brooklyn, and I agree with you - some of the best real estate in the world is in this boro.