when i just got my permit and was learning how to drive a stick i was just rolling through this neighbor hood and some kids asked me if my car had hydrolics

And now alot of the kids i play golf with say my car is a slow POS!!! that one bugs the hell out me... (btw most of them are filthy rich)

Also yesterday one of the kids i play golf with said "your car sucks, it runs like 17's or 18's in the quarter mile" im like "my car runs 16's stock u moron!"

 

Time to tell my AAMCO story. This is a conversation with the regional manager, who happened to be filling in for a customer service rep who was home sick at the time:

Him: I don't think we're going to be able to touch this.
Me: Why not?
Him: Well first, it's spittin' out codes like Chicklets...
Me: Yeah, I know. Did you check what those codes were for? One of them is for the EGRC solenoid, and the rest are automatic transmission codes which I'm getting because I'm still using the auto ECU even though I converted my car to 5-speed.
Him: ...Yeah, but I don't think we're gonna be able to fix all this. There's so much wrong with it... It might just break again, you know?

Strike 1.

Me: Um. Those codes mean nothing. My car is a MANUAL now.
Him: Well, look at this sheet.

He hands me the sheet with the mechanic's assessment. One of the items on the list of problems was "suspension very stiff". Guess they didn't notice it was lowered almost 3 inches and might have an aftermarket suspension.

Me: Release bearing? The mechanic thinks it's the release bearing?
Him: Yep. That's your problem.
Me: That doesn't make sense. How could a release bearing make those noises or cause leaking gear oil? That bearing isn't even 10,000 miles old.
Him: He's sure it's the release bearing.
Me: Yeah, but if it were it wouldn't make those sounds. You know input shaft and diff bearings are known to go bad on these cars, right?
Him: Yeah, I told him you said that. He said you're a smart kid and you know a lot about cars, but he's positive it's the release bearing.
Me: Okay, whatever. Could you just give me a quote for replacing the input shaft and diff bearings?
Him: Heh. Well... It's easy to say, "I'm going to go in and replace this," but we might find other problems in there...
Me: Like what?
Him: Oh, we might find a bad solenoid. Or your clutches might be burnt. Or the wiring might be bad.

Long pause. Stare of disbelief. Strike 2.

Me: ...I did tell you it's a manual, right? It doesn't have solenoids and clutches and wiring. It's just gears and synchros.
Him: Yeah, but we might find little problems, you know?
Me: Okay, that's fine. But assuming you don't find any, could you just give me a quote for input and differential bearings?
Him: Alright... I've been in the business for over 25 years. I've seen more of these things come and go than I can count, and I know it's never as simple as one thing. You know? We might go in there and say we want to replace one thing, but then we find out, oops, the clutches are burnt. Or, oops, there's a bad solenoid...
Me: Look. I just told you it's a manual, NOT an automatic. You do know how a manual works, right?
Him: Yeah, I know how it works, and I know it's almost never as simple as one thing. There's always something with the wiring or electronics...
Me: But it's a MANUAL. It DOESN'T HAVE ELECTRONICS. Automatics have solenoids, electronics, and multiple clutches, but manuals don't. They just have gears and syncros. When you said "clutches," did you mean the one clutch or the synchros?
Him: Yeah, or the wiring could be bad, or we could find a bad solenoid, you know?
Me: Sir... it's a MANUAL transmission. Automatics have that stuff, but manuals don't. You know manuals and automatics are different, right?
Him: Yeah, I know they're different, but we won't know exactly what's wrong with it until we get it apart and see.
Me: Okay. How about this. I KNOW for a FACT there is a $250 Master Rebuild Kit with all the bearings and seals for this transmission. If you just buy that and install it, how much would that cost?
Him: I'm saying, I don't know. We might find a lot more wrong with it, you know? What if there's a bad solenoid, or bad wiring?
Me: It's... a... MANUAL... transmission. It's JUST GEARS. There are NO ELECTRONICS IN A MANUAL.

Long pause.

Him: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah... I was stuck in automatic mode. Heh heh heh.

Strike three.

Turned out the tech was wrong, too. It was definitely differential and input shaft bearings.

 

I have to give it to you man...your patience is solid. I would have left after about a minute of talking to the tard.

 

Well this isn't directly at the max, but it was a story for five speeds in general, here's a little background:

My 3 friends and I were standing around, about to leave and one of them (Geoff) was joking around with some handcuffs...

Geoff: I'll drive home like a Mexican (Shows hands with cuffs)
Kendra: How will you shift? It's a manual.
Krissi: I'll sit up front and shift for him.
Kendra: haha, knowing you you'll probably put it in park.
Geoff/Krissi/Everyone: ... HAHAHAHA

 

That's a first. Most guys I know don't talk about quarter miles times on the green (mostly because the only thing they know about cars is whether they're expensive or not). It's always about women, work, and money. Next thing you know, NASCAR will be the hot topic at the ballet.

 

Pictures of said "Krissi" and "Kendra" F5. F5.

 

First and last time at a jiffy lube. After flying my car over the bump and hitting my LTB II, the guys goes, umm yeaa apparently you have some weird bars underneath your car that shouldn't be there. Me: umm yea, I put those there to help with the suspension.

 

and next time someone says that to me is the least they deserve.

 

Sadly, ive heard this a couple times too.

 

" a skyline engine will bolt right in, do it" some jackazz who knows nothing
" is this an import, it just looks so long" some older guy at a show
''throw 24's on it" another jackazz

since i got air, its funny, im all about being low, but all the time whenever im out, all the "thugs" always ask "how much lift does it get" i just find that funny

 

"you drift that thing?"

 

From the .org I think I've heard the stupidest things about my 6th gen actually, Including classics such as:

When you see a guy in a G35 he is going to laugh at you for buying a Maxima.

You should have gotten an Altima.

The Winner:
The 6th gen is not a real Maxima, the 5th is the last one that was made.

Basically, I have always hated the design of the G35 sedan and the coupe was out of my price range, the altima was too common for me as well, and the performance advantages are tenths of a second anyway, its not a racecar.

 

Looking at my 1984 Datsun Maxima...

"Did Nissan ever sue Datsun for using their "MAXIMA" trademark or whatever?"

(at gas station)

---------------------------

"What is the difference between a DATSUN Maxima
& a NISSAN Maxima of the same year"

(at New England Dragway in Epping, NH)

---------------------------

Looking at my Infiniti Q45:

"That thing looks like the kind of big luxury car Saddam
Hussein gets chauffeured around in. Long, black,
every window tinted, modern but still lots of chrome"

---------------------------

Standing next to my 1968 Chevrolet Camaro

"What year Mustang is that?"

My '68 had more Camaro emblems than stock.

(parking lot of Outback Steakhouse)




Yeah... that would be kind of hard with FWD.

 

this is from a guy at autozone when i went in to find out the PCV# so i could replace mine
him: what car
me: 2000 nissan maxima
him: 2000 nissan maximum
me: its maxima
him: no, around here we call them maximum's

fortunately that is the worst comment i have recieved.

 

did you ask why they called them that? or did you just assume he was an idiot.. which he probably was

 

Why would they do that if Nissan owned Datsun???

 

I dont think the guy asking would have been aware of that.

 

Many reasons, foremost among them that the guy who said that clearly had no idea of the relationship...

 

when i shipped mine, the shipping company had put a tag with "altima" on it.

 

Mine would have to be... This guy at the gas station was like Damn bro how'd you get the Nissan logo on those dubs??? I said they aren't dubs they are 18's and they are stock Nissan wheels. He said naw bro those are way bigger than 18's u just say that cause you don't want nobody jacking them!!! So I just agreed that they were dubs cause he wasn't going believe me lol!!! Probably the best one was when Buena Park Nissan was trying to scam me into paying 1800 dollars to rebuild my engine from a problem that didn't exist. Hey man your Maxima's clean!!! Its one of the cleanest well maintained car we've seen comming into the shop but you need to rebuild your engine its leaking oil from the timing chain cover!!! Its funny how they try to butter me up before dropping the your car needs to be fixed scam. My car wasn't leaking oil and I'm never going back there again for fear of them breaking something on purpose and making me pay to fix it.

 

I got in an argument with someone on a clear no cloudy day that my car is blue and not black. Wouldn't shut up. I guess the reflection from the sky made it look blue. "Really Really Dark Blue" And tonight I was pranked on the phone and was asked if I drive a black toyota. I was like nope and hung up lolol.

 

i don't want to **** off any 6th gen owners but i'd take a 3.5 altima over a maxima any day. i don't see why it's such a hated comment they aren't ugly cars by any means and they the do look similar, so it's not all that dumb of a mistake...

 

I'm dropping my car off at the Nissan dealership to get an oil change and the service advisor comes outside with me and asks me "It's that white Altima right??"

 

The problem that I see is when a Nissan Mechanic or sales person makes that mistake. Would you want someone working on your Max or Altima that can't tell the difference between the two cars at a quick glance?

 

iD TAKE AN ALTIMA SER RIGHT NOWOVER MY CAR, BUT 3 YRS AGO I WANTED THE MAX CUZ THE 3.5 ALTI LOOKED TOO PLAIN, IF THEY HAD THE SER ID HAVE BOUGHT IT

 

RESIZE YOUR SIG

 

Exactly.


10bits

 

I guess - just because the dude can't name every car he sees on the road, doesn't mean he couldn't name every part you see in the engine. I totally agree it'd freak me out if my mechanic made a simple mistake like that, but it really doesn't mean anything..

 

i just remembered another really really stupid one (funny part is that i was involved in the stupidity)

when i went to get my viper alarm installed. the installer hopped behind the computer to see if any extra parts were required as i was sitting on the couch lookin at the C&D magazine. The convo went like this:

Installer: its a legend huh?
I looked up and noticed he was lookin at me & nodding & acting a bit naughty , his english wasnt that good so i took him wrong...
Me: ehhh its just a car, but yeah a lot of people admire it.
Installer: acura?
Me: ohhhhhh, no, nissan........... MAXIMA (while thinkin how an acura legend is anything remotly close to a maxima)
Installer: oh its still early in the morning !!!
Me: heh
Installer: 91 right?
Me: NO, 98........ SE............... V6........... AUTO
Installer: i told you i havent had my coffee .........

and he was only in his early 20's. lol !

 

...until he has to fix something, goes over to his computer, puts in Altima instead of Maxima, and orders the wrong part.

 

maybe not every car but maybe those that surround him 24/7... dont u think a nissan mechanic should know his models after working on hundreds a month ??

 

I always get "oooh...new car smell!"

But I guess that's a compliment, lol

 

Another one to add to the list, JUST POSTED ON THESE FORUMS several minutes ago:

 

I have actually had someone tell me that with a catback and headers I can be running low 12s. He said that b/c he had a "friend" that had a 99 that ran 12s. I told him to just shut up and sit down. He actually arued with me about it and I told him that he was a complete moron and needed to go find a cookie.

 

i just shrugged it off and had that look of disbelief on my face from what i just heard. yea he was dumb about it though.

 

Im parking at fridays with my GF and there is a croud of people outside waiting for their # to show up to be seated. Well as im walking inside one of the guys in a group of guys ages aprx from 18-25 comes to me and tell's me
"Dude! your car looks sweet man! so i answer thanks man, but then he goes "$hit....too bad the motor is about to die on you huh! I look at him and im like "What?" And he sais well I mean all that winning coming from the engine is a sign..Trust me! My Honda just died on me yesterday. So in my mind im like This **** is crazy.....so i just keep walking and say "Ok, dude thank's for the heads up!

 

Well when they start calling your car a Sentra, get back to us...

 

...Its not that Altimas are bad cars it just gets annoying since the two are distinguished the same. Its like calling a Ferrari a Lamborgihini, it gets annoying when people dont know the difference.

 

The most annoying is: Why didnt you get a G35? Or people are just clue less and say things like "what kinda car is this an Altima?" Me: And other things from my GM loving friends: Is this thing a 4 banger? No........

 

although it is kinda off the wall and took me by surprise... a guy in a LS1 z28 with exhaust told me that I have the best sounding exhaust he's ever heard on an import... this was while i was in my turboed 5th gen which just has a removed cat and dumps the exhaust there... haha, that took me by surprise. but hey if he thinks it sound's better than say a 350z/g35c, whatever.......